The Model???

This is a post from August 05. I thought it was worth bringing back to the forefront of my mind. Recently I haven't been writing much. I know that it's due partially to a lack of discipline, but it's also largely due to a lack of passion. We all find inspiration and passion naturally through different mediums. Mine is dominantly realized in the fruit of undefiled love and obedience to Jesus Christ. The purity and beauty I speak of in this archived blog hasn't been fully lived over the past year and a half. For that I am sorry, not just for writing's sake, but for life's.

August 21, 2005-
The model my heart desires is not a model. And I'm alright with that. My dream is not to begin a superior model that can be reproduced easily and rapidly. The realization is simply to live, to walk in the PURE GIFTING,CALLING, AND COMMISSION of my life. To be and make disciples of Christ, to baptize, and to teach all the commandments of Christ. The way that takes shape for me is entirely different than the way it will likely take shape for you, and that's not only OK, but great, as long as IT IS taking shape in both of us.

To be tied to no form, model, man's standard of success, or societal norm. To be completely obedient through love and wisdom from the power that is within me as a king and priest of the Holy Lord God Almighty. To truly love my neighbor as my Father has commanded me to. The scary, unpredictability of such pure discipleship is real, but the resolve to be disobedient and never seek it causes irreversible atrophy. I can not live whole heartedly, passionately, or successfully with out seeking the direction of such commitment and service. My life should be considered a miserable failure apart from the pursuit of such a life.

No model can satisfy all of the unique needs and desires of real life. I do not reject models, I do not disdain models, and I will not speak badly of models. But I will never subject my life to the restriction of any model. I am a spiritual man raised from the depths of my natural depravity by a loving God who demands fear. That we may understand freedom from the bondage of everything that the sin we've chosen has caused. I serve the perfect author, creator, and sustainer of this world. I have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of God who called us by glory and virtue. Amen.

Just Another White Kid

Just another white kid trying to make it big
Tryin to live the lazy life of the rap gig
If that’s what you hear then obviously
You’re not listening to me
I’m not here to flirt with you, I’m married
I don’t speak to entertain you, let comforts be buried
My voice goes deeper than the money and hoes
That they feature in their vidoes
Deeper than the fears in my own heart that loom,
Deeper than your fathers tomb

All that I hate keeps me up late
Do what I don’t want to
Don’t do what I want to
Catch myself living in a state of schizophrenia
Wake up to another day of acceptable apathy in America
So why does this middle class lyricist insist to be heard
Cause this life’s so much deeper than the natural mans word

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up,
Praying that my voice connects directly to your soul
Truth that you can’t shake, can’t let go
Realizations that discomfort your being as a whole
Failures realized, highlighted and hated
Reconciliation in mind, my lyrics designed
To abduct your whole kind take you to the vine
Obtain satisfaction that we all seek to find

No I’m not a thug, no I didn’t grow up in the ghetto
No I wont promote the struggle, and no I wont try to do this solo
I’m looking down the barrel from a different angle
To anyone who says we should make them infertile
I say your brain is barren, listen to what your saying
Your fathers father made this, and now you want to rape it
Our democracy’s got two extremes, neither of which are good enough for me
Don’t you think in this great country we should be able to find at least one pure electee
Well you know, that’s just what happens when you become rich and powerful
No, no, no , no, no...
That’s just what happens when you seek first the desires of your flesh
That’s just what happens when you live only for your own selfishness
I didn’t go to Harvard or MIT,
But I can tell you this, I don’t like the direction of this so called great country

So who am I, I’m not just some white kid,
I, Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up,
Praying that my voice connects directly to your soul
Truth that you can’t shake, can’t let go
Realizations that discomfort your being as a whole
Failures realized, highlighted and hated
Reconciliation in mind, my lyrics designed
To abduct your whole kind take you to the vine
Obtain satisfaction that we all seek to find