shhhhh......

hey everybody! ;)

ive snuck on to Teddys blog to make a few changes....

ive added kailee to the list! ;)

ive added our pictures on flickr and....

i made one minor change to 'my wifey' in the right sidebar ;)

bye!!

(I love you babe, muah muah muah!!)

Gentrification

I can’t find any tears to illustrate what I see behind the black gate
I stand behind mine, white, looking across the street
Watching the older stiff man adjust his pants face down at his feet
She in raspy smokers voice unashamedly says come back soon
As he gets in his brand new caddy and speeds off to his lunch meeting at noon

Teal paint with rotting wood trim doesn’t exactly scream luxury efficiency
But before long urban renewal will relocate these weekly tenants sufficiently
The neighborhoods more than glad to watch them leave
Not really caring where they go as long as their not across the street
Well, as long as they’re not in the same school zone, cause God forbid our children have to meet

And what really scares me, is that I can’t find any tears to illustrate what I see behind the black gate
Cause my property value is going up when the prostitutes and drug dealers are pushed out
And my future children will be surrounded by other privileged inner city children
Which unfortunately statistically means they’ll receive a better education than the other kids pushed around by gentrification

What’s gentrification? It’s not a vacation, it’s more like the weight of a self centered nation leaning on you, pushing you from somewhere that you don’t want to be to a place that makes your current reality seem almost happy

But that’s just the system, that’s just the way it works right
Twenty years ago if you had money you moved out of the city, I think they called it the great white flight
But suburbia’s busted, boredom dulls comfort and safety’s a facade
So while property’s hot, the whitey’s want back there original lot
And yeah it’s a shame that you’re gonna have to move, but at least you don’t have much to take with you
Don’t worry we can build equally shitty government housing west of 95
So you can carry out your pathetically sad, bitter lives
Oh, if you have any questions, please speak with your counsel person
I’m sure their satisfied with their district, not seeking a more prestigious position
After all we’re only talking about a little gentrification

Slam Poem

Please hang with me,
I feel a deeply ingrained need to bleed openly
If I truly believe that tomorrow is not guaranteed
Why do I live my life as if I’m part of an elite immortal breed
Evidence abounds found easily that we’ve grown from the same seed
On which Adam and Eve were told not to feed
Yet with depravity ingrained permanently into all of humanity
Our lives scream look at me I am deity

And I know you’re probably wishing I’d do apiece more entertaining
But as Lauryn Hill said so beautifully,
“Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what we need.”
So I refuse to concede to the lusts of your flesh
Force feeding nutrition and reconciliation powerfully
I’m not concerned with whether or not you like me, this is not about me

Against popular belief truth speaks, complete tolerance is complete insanity
Not to mix truth with heresy, but to say openly that loving our neighbors as our self bring’s pure tolerance naturally
Many of us, like myself, have a screwed up view of Christianity thanks to the church
We’ve allowed man in his pursuit of domination and divinity to debase freedom since the curse
And what’s worse many would rather be manipulated
Finding in the end that it’s themselves that they’ve hated
And the rest reject truth completely with knee jerk intensity never knowing what to believe

But I believe there is opportunity for restoration no matter the nation
I can see freedom being lived powerfully
Peace that surpasses understanding withstanding trials of fury
Joy residing permanently within me
Hopefully lovingly wooing you not for my sake but ultimately for Christ’s glory

So thank you, for allowing me to bleed openly
I pray that you here more than mere poetry
And that words like wind pierce your skin
Enlightening truth and understanding leading you to the cross of the Everlasting
That words like wind pierce your skin enlightening truth and understanding leading you to the cross of the Everlasting

Me & Myself

The storm enveloped me quickly tonight
Transforming my house stripping all available light
What was once comfortable and safe now feels cold and tight

I’m shut in alone with a stranger
At ease, but tense even in the absence of physical danger
My only escape is sleep, but I really shouldn’t ignore my visitor

It seems he’s been hanging around me a lot lately
Running in to each other in random places, it’s creepy
It’s always the most inopportune time, I’m not mean, it’s just that I’m busy

But now we’re here, just the two of us, no excuse
The and the power is off, there’s no refuse
The candle light intimacy unavoidably ushers us to mental abuse

Look, I don’t know why you’re here, but I didn’t invite you
You just show up like you live here, I don’t even know you
You can’t just pierce through skin expecting me to bleed openly in front of you

Even faster than the storm rolled in
I’m reminded why I always ignore this supposed friend
He’s constantly challenging, personal space doesn’t exist with him

Come to think of it, I don’t even know his real name
I just know that when he leaves I miss him, but I wish he wouldn’t have came
Cause I know that when it’s just me and myself alone, I have no one to blame

Fears and Offenses

I'm one of those rare over confident thinkers that loves to dialogue, often before filtering intense content. I'm not easily offended, and I have few fears. I probably have a bit of a lack of innate respect for authority, but once respect is given it runs deep. I say this because I've been learning a lot lately due to new friendships and some of the speed humps encountered in light of these not so endearing qualities. I know that the weight of substance can't overload the strength of the bridge of friendship developed, otherwise the bridge will crumble and the friendship will resemble rubble. But recently I've been learning this the difficult way.
There is so much more than I can write to be said for knowing someone's heart, and trusting their decision making. It makes me truly miss those few rare relationships where these preliminary necessities are long past and life is happening in real time. Tonight I miss you. Once again I desire to run to those that get it and desire it. I admit I am weak, and long for brotherhood that is close in proximity as well as heart. I know that I should lean wholly on Christ, but I'm still growing everyday, rejecting self dependence slowly, seeking my Savior.
I have only a few fears, one is that those desiring to lead "The Church," are not much different than those that drove my ancestors to this continent, and two that we're are to weak, disillusioned, and comfortable to care or make any positive difference. And offending me is a difficult task, but tonight I realize that any leader that rules through control, manipulation, or fear offends me.

Sunday Morning

Sleeping in just long enough to be rushed
Dressing in your best, covering all that’s flushed
Sunny morning s of peace and little traffic
Familiar friends, laughter, it’s all fantastic

The children are happy and secure
The seating’s consistent and reassured
Quality music all simple and memorized
A few prayers here and there
Speaking and teaching, helpful while educating

Critical conversation on the way home
A large lunch to settle in to the afternoon drone
A light dinner and a sweet treat
A weeks worth of thoughts and a deep sleep

But while reality is monotonous and slightly superficial
Dreams rage and passions burn all that’s trivial
Only to awake to wade through another week to get to the weekend
Cause comfort has predetermined that manipulation be destined
And the powers that be would like nothing more than to see
That you’re doing well, and tithing, while you’re healthy and happy

After all it was this religion or tradition that raised you
If it weren’t for the morals surely you’d be skewed or screwed or just plain rude
You know you owe a lot to this custom so keep bringing your children
Be a good person and if you don’t mind cut down on the questions

Life Everlasting

Conception begins, sin attached
Creation conceived, received hatched
Born dark, stark arrival
Entrance climactic, traumatic survival
Pushing screaming, gasping ordained
Fluorescent light, bright pain

Youth’s innocence, ignorance bliss
Immaturity accepted, anticipated selfishness
Fathers faults, results inheritance
Child infected, neglected happenstance
Seeking satisfaction, actions amiss
Fleshly desires, retire righteousness

Insatiable longing, spurring searching
Realization follows, hollow hurting
Alone scared, unprepared examining
Mortal understanding, flawing everything
Need for, savior understood
Belief assessed, confessed withstood

Life everlasting, beginning immediately
Death overcome, succumbs completely
Born again, Satan defeated
Though sin, destined repeated
Permanent justification, sanctification begun
Life everlasting, coming son

I Hate Flossing.

The title isn't all that accurate, but it caught your eye. As I skipped flossing and went straight to brushing tonight I realized that there are three things in my life that I know are beneficial, but simply don't do, flossing, reading, and lifting weights. Don't hear me incorrectly, I do them all occasionally, but certainly not as much as I should. The funniest aspect of these three areas of my life, that are so often neglected, is that I really enjoy the outcome of all three. I love to smile, and not think twice about it, I enjoy learning, and I love to be active and physical. So why don'’t I work through the bit of nuisance to get to that unexplainable feeling of completion and temporary satisfaction? It's either because I don'’t truly believe that the process is worth the benefit, I have no real discipline, or I'’m content and hoping that seeming success will continue with little to no effort. I'’m afraid that these three areas are small reflections of my "“walk."” Not that flossing, reading, and/or lifting weights are directly related to my spiritual life. But they are. Aren'’t they? I really hope that it'’s not that I have no real discipline. That would be sad. But then again do I want to shift the blame to the other two explanations? At this point I'm really not sure, and justifying my disobedience only perpetuates the very issue.

All this to simply confess that I thought about flossing, I knew I should, I even knew that I would be glad that I did after I did, but didn't tonight. So, good night.

I Hate Flossing.

The title isn't all that accurate, but it caught your eye. As I skipped flossing and went straight to brushing tonight I realized that there are three things in my life that I know are beneficial, but simply don't do, flossing, reading, and lifting weights. Don't hear me incorrectly, I do them all occasionally, but certainly not as much as I should. The funniest aspect of these three areas of my life, that are so often neglected, is that I really enjoy the outcome of all three. I love to smile, and not think twice about it, I enjoy learning, and I love to be active and physical. So why don'’t I work through the bit of nuisance to get to that unexplainable feeling of completion and temporary satisfaction? It's either because I don'’t truly believe that the process is worth the benefit, I have no real discipline, or I'’m content and hoping that seeming success will continue with little to no effort. I'’m afraid that these three areas are small reflections of my "“walk."” Not that flossing, reading, and/or lifting weights are directly related to my spiritual life. But they are. Aren'’t they? I really hope that it'’s not that I have no real discipline. That would be sad. But then again do I want to shift the blame to the other two explanations? At this point I'm really not sure, and justifying my disobedience only perpetuates the very issue.

All this to simply confess that I thought about flossing, I knew I should, I even knew that I would be glad that I did after I did, but didn't tonight. So, good night.