Waste, efficiency, and Productivity

Almost every shift at the fire station there is a certain conversation held. It's referred to as the "solving the world's problems" conversation. I personally love to sit back and toss little interjections into the inferno when it begins to die down. Then when the flame is just barely visible I pose the money question..."So what's the solution?" It's rare that there is an answer to this all important question, usually it's misused as a segway by one of the more disgruntled participants.

Regardless of the outcome, or lack there of, it always speeds the spin of my pondering wheel. Today we hit, or should I say ran over some of the big speed humps. War, health, welfare, efficiency, lifestyle, and productivity. The latter is a question that Teresa and I discussed months ago, and continues to present itself. What is productive? Obviously there are millions of hidden and seen factors that go into each persons reasoning that shape the answer, but at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, what's productive? What is productivity? Was your day productive? Think larger than yourself for five minutes and be honest. Was today productive on a tangible level? If so, why? If not, why not?

Many would probably listen to my daily answers to the tuff questions and attempt to comfort me by saying that I'm to hard on myself. They say things like it's normal to feel that way, or you're doing the best you can, or even better, trust me you're doing more than most. The problem with the nice B.S. is that it only perpetuates the problem. Leaving me dissatisfied, as well as everyone else. Not to mention that it mocks and undermines my Lord and His call for His followers. Most of my days aren't productive. Most of my days are wasted on selfish desires. Laziness, apathy, selfishness, cowardess, and disobedience rule too much of Teddy Cook. My King and Savior demands, deserves, and desires more. And I know that giving Him more brings me more on the short end and in the long run. So why don't I live differently? I have no excuse.
I'm sorry to all of you who I've not loved and cared for properly, and please hold me accountable in the future. The Lord is my God and I desire to give Him everything. No compromise.