Jeremy's thought for last week...

Revelation 21:8
But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

One of my best friends and favorite people in my whole world, Jeremy Cox, left me last year. I hate that he had to go, but I'm dealing with it. Anyway, he has awesome thought's and insight into thing's everyonce in a while. I miss that, but fortunatly I can still get little tastes of it once in a while via telephone. The key word in this thought being cowardly. See above. Chew on that for a bit. Thank you JC for your thoughts and even more precious than all of those...your friendship. I love you.

Waste, efficiency, and Productivity

Almost every shift at the fire station there is a certain conversation held. It's referred to as the "solving the world's problems" conversation. I personally love to sit back and toss little interjections into the inferno when it begins to die down. Then when the flame is just barely visible I pose the money question..."So what's the solution?" It's rare that there is an answer to this all important question, usually it's misused as a segway by one of the more disgruntled participants.

Regardless of the outcome, or lack there of, it always speeds the spin of my pondering wheel. Today we hit, or should I say ran over some of the big speed humps. War, health, welfare, efficiency, lifestyle, and productivity. The latter is a question that Teresa and I discussed months ago, and continues to present itself. What is productive? Obviously there are millions of hidden and seen factors that go into each persons reasoning that shape the answer, but at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, what's productive? What is productivity? Was your day productive? Think larger than yourself for five minutes and be honest. Was today productive on a tangible level? If so, why? If not, why not?

Many would probably listen to my daily answers to the tuff questions and attempt to comfort me by saying that I'm to hard on myself. They say things like it's normal to feel that way, or you're doing the best you can, or even better, trust me you're doing more than most. The problem with the nice B.S. is that it only perpetuates the problem. Leaving me dissatisfied, as well as everyone else. Not to mention that it mocks and undermines my Lord and His call for His followers. Most of my days aren't productive. Most of my days are wasted on selfish desires. Laziness, apathy, selfishness, cowardess, and disobedience rule too much of Teddy Cook. My King and Savior demands, deserves, and desires more. And I know that giving Him more brings me more on the short end and in the long run. So why don't I live differently? I have no excuse.
I'm sorry to all of you who I've not loved and cared for properly, and please hold me accountable in the future. The Lord is my God and I desire to give Him everything. No compromise.

Everything

Lately my life has been a lot like any local coffee house. Listening to a lot of Damien Rice, running on limited supply, and never finding any kind of stable rhythm. This afternoon I had absolutely nothing that I had to do. So I did exactly that. But in hours I will have more on my plate than the porcelain can physically hold. I'm running on an irregularly irregular schedule.

There have been more discombobulated thoughts in my mind than usual lately. I'’ve constantly been a little tired. Always ready for a good nap, without good reason. I'’ve been just slightly numb, as if I'’m standing in front of the giant freezer unable to decide which ice cream to purchase. And direction continues to elude me, always one turn out.

It'’s not the holiday's, or stress, or continual over committing. It'’s deeper than any of that. Lifehouse has a song, "“Everything" that explains it better than I ever could. If you'’ve not heard it, listen. If you have go back again, close your eyes, quiet everything and listen.

I"’ve stood here, walking through life, knowing my savior, my joy, my strength, my peace, my source, and not been moved by Him. There is great shame that flows through this realization, but it is also the beginning of renewal.

You'’re all I want!
You're all I need.
You're everything!
Everything!
Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?
You're all I want!
You're all I need.
You'’re everything!
Everything!

CRY

It's a fun time of the year. There's more going on than any of us can possibly participate in. Yet there is extreme loneliness, loss, and pain entwined in everything. I don't desire to be focused on brokenness, but sobriety is a sacred attribute.

A generation is believing in anything, while a nation is failing to see power in anything.
Seeming success carries complacency, while comfort kindly ushers apathy.
And selfishness fuels every decision that anyone's making.
It'’s a torn world that we'’re living in, but we can package it neatly, watch me.
I just need a good nights sleep, some coffee, a better job, McDonalds, some alcohol, good sex, and some more sleep.
When will we cry for those who live rather than for those who die?
When will we care for those who are dead more than for those that are alive?
We sit neatly in rows, politely and quiet.
We elevate a man to entertain our ears.
We sit on our hands because it'’s safer than reaching them out to people we don'’t understand.
Cry for the church, cry for the souls, cry for redemption, cry for reconciliation!

Oh...That's how that works, OK

It's not that you have a soul.
It's that you are a soul, you have a body.
-C.S. Lewis (I think)

God is Faithful!

I recently purchased internet service for our home for the first time. I originally thought that this would do wonders for my writing and blogging, I haven't written in two months. But this has little to nothing to do with the internet accesibility, which has been quite nice. I've not been inspired. Nothing has gone too wrong, I just have not been who I've wanted to be. Two nights ago The Lord, through a friend, called me to stop striving and doubting. Today He led me to this, one favorite passages.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

God is good. God is longsuffering. God is lovely. God is Faithful!
I love you Lord, I will serve you all of my existence, gladly!